Why We Feel The Need To Prove Ourselves

I don’t know when it first began.

But I know what it feels like.

It lives just beneath the surface

It pokes its sneaky little nose in my thoughts and in my reactions.

I feel it sitting just beneath the surface of my skin and tightly woven throughout my nervous system waiting to strike and come to my defense -

the need to prove myself

Recently I was talking with my guides and asking them for clarity about what to shift next. The thing that would elevate my spirit and my consciousness and the thing that I would unwind to my deepen my inner wisdom and bring forward to help others navigate this within their inner world (maybe some of you feel this way too, but, sometimes I just find it difficult to get out of my own way).

Then from above my crown the telepathic message came flowing in…proving it.

Yeessss…shifting this would be amazing.

Proving it takes up so much energy.

It starts when we are little and sets us up on a track of over achieving, over doing and never resting, well, maybe not ever, but resting doesn’t come easy. It also serves as a defense mechanism. Either way, proving it can be exhausting.

I love navigating the origins of a program—Where does —proving it— stem from, where is the root, what’s the original feeling that initiated my drive to prove myself, what wisdom have I gained, and who were the leading characters?

One of four siblings, one of dozens of cousins, a neurodivergent brain, a sensitive, an intuitive, a step child, an introvert, an outcast Humm, I guess I could take my pick or could it be all the above?

So, I follow the movie playing in my mind, flashing back through multiple and specific memories. Feeling each moment in time where I took something personal, that caused me to question my own worth and over time proving became a shield that I would use as an attempt to overcome rejection.

These are two of the most common roots — worthiness and rejection —when it comes to the program of proving yourself.

But recently my guides helped me follow a new branch around proving myself that caught me a little off guard and helped me unravel this program deep within its core.

Through my internal dialog I learned that these days, my proving it energy was directed at myself and what I was trying to prove was interesting, and I have seen this with so many others I have worked with as well…

I was trying to prove that I mattered…

so that I could prove

that I actually exist

This looks interesting intuitively BTW

I’ll share because I feel that many people have found themselves here too…Intuitively when you are walking through the belief program that you do not exist, what you might experience is blackness in your mind’s eye, feeling like you’re nowhere or like you are in space with no one around.

It’s okay, don’t panic, you do exist and you are not alone, phew, just had to get that out there.

Honestly, I have bumped up against this “I exist” program a few times as I have meandered through various shadow work, but this time, with the whole proving it, it felt like this was the final piece to let go of so that I could fully ground into this beautiful body that does so much for me.

And, still, I resisted.

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Rochelle Stanley